i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need to calm my uterus...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
