sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Welp...herpes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
