My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
