you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Randomize
