I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize