Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
