you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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