I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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