I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize