R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
