went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize