I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
