I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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