Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
