so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
