i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize