But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
