fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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