You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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