none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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