Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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