help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just cut my nipple shaving
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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