I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am naked and annoyed.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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