This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
