Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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