she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize