I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
