i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
