8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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