He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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