We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
