Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
