just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
