xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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