allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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