What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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