3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
