she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Your cock deserves a montage
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
