shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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