Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm at about main and main street
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
