mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
