4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
