I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
