guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
