sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
what the fuck happened to the tacos
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
