Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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