He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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