no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
