Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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