Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
