He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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