Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
