Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
