its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
