i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
