Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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