btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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