i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
