Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
sarcasm needs its own font
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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