Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Randomize
