i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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