So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
