apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
